Relationships are weird, Breakups are weird

Going from spending hours on end next to someone, laughing with someone, sharing and making memories with someone. To nothing, is weird.

I love the idea of a relationship and when I am in one I am the most obsessive little bitch and all I want to do is spend time with that person, wether that be going out for a meal or laying in bed watching shitty Netflix films. I am the girlfriend who takes pictures of you non stop, I am the girlfriend who wants to be touching you all the time, I am the girlfriend who just wants to spend her time loving you.

But relationships are weird, before I got in a relationship I enjoyed going to town and talking to whoever I wanted and getting drunk and kissing strangers and that was just my typical weekend, but then suddenly that wasn’t my weekend anymore, my weekend was a Budweiser that I’d open with my teeth, my weekend was sober, my weekend was sat in bed talking about drag queens, my weekend was next to someone, my weekend was loving, my weekend was meaningful, my weekend was being with one person instead of the random multiple people in the clubs.

Relationships are weird because you spend every minute talking to them wether that be in person, or texting, or calling they are part and most of your daily routine, a new best friend. Relationships are weird, because you become best friends, and I don’t have many ‘Best friends’  but my best friend was a person I would travel on a train to see, my best friend was someone I hugged, My best friend was someone I felt so strongly about, My best friend was someone I would sleep next to, My best friend was my girlfriend.

And then it stops.

You grow apart, they realise how different you are, they cheat on you, they like guys now.

When you break up with someone you are not just loosing a girlfriend or a boyfriend, its so much more. You’re loosing someone who you can talk to, someone you can trust, someone who listens, someone who gives advice, someone to spend lazy Sundays with and someone to go on walks and adventures with.

Now they’re nothing, they’re not a 2 am message, they’re not a shoulder to cry on, they’re not anything, all they are now is a person you used to know.

It’s crazy how much changing people do after break ups, how different someone can become, sometimes a picture of my ex’s will come on my Instagram or my snapchat and its crazy because I’m looking at this picture of a person who I used to love and who used to love me and now I’m looking at this picture and I don’t feel anything anymore, they’re nothing to me anymore.

They used to be, they used to play a part in my life so I’m looking at this picture of a person who influenced my life and it’s crazy and it’s weird that they are now nothing.

They don’t know me anymore, they don’t know about my day, about my week, about my job, about my family, they don’t know a thing about me.

I just think breakups are pretty weird.

Codie xx

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