Around a month ago I was feeling very sad, I had locked my self in my room for a couple days and I seriously hate staying in, I get so depressed and so overwhelmed with my own thoughts. So I picked up my camera, my phone and my headphones and I went out for a walk.
I normally just go for walks around my local lakes 2 minutes away, but that day my brain was so adamant on walking to the complete other side of town to walk round ladies walk. I haven’t been there much and there wasn’t many memories associated with it, it was nice to walk somewhere which didn’t have so many bad depressed memories.
I stuck on the saddest music I could find on my playlist to completely drown in myself in these depressed thoughts, I turned my 3G off so no one could contact me. I was in one of my moods where I just needed to be left alone to be depressed.
I carried on walking on my own, feeling depressed as ever, looking a mess, and feeling kind of pathetic for letting myself get so sad just because I was in my house. I did the stereotypical movie thing and I would stop randomly and look at my town from probably one of the highest places in Andover and standing there and looking at my grotty little town was for some reason, peaceful.
One of the other reasons I went on this walk was because I was just feeling very lonely and isolated because I had locked myself away. Because I was now feeling a little bit more sane, I turned my 3G on and I went onto my group chat with two of my friends. They were messaging each other just saying that they were bored, they asked me where I was and by this point I was lost so I did not have a clue.
I finally figured out where I was, I met my friends in Asda where they jumped out at me from behind the baskets and I laughed for the first time in two days. We got some cheap vodka, we went to my friends house, drunk way too much and spent the night playing cards.
The point I’m trying to get at with this blog, is that I am not alone. Even in my saddest moment I had friends who wanted to see me, who wanted to listen to me and spend time with me. Even in my saddest moment I could laugh and smile after being completely depressed over nothing. This moment made me realise how important my friends are and how much they love me and I love them I should of been spending more time with them. Since this walk I have spent more time with my friends, I spend nearly every night with my friends wether that be walking round a park when It’s pitch black, or walking to Tesco to a quiche, or playing £1 pool while sipping on cider. I am with my friends, and I am so happy, I have not had a depressed moment since.
I really appreciate all of my friends, I love you guys.