Who do I want to be

When we were younger we all have these crazy ideas of who we want to be in life and what career we want to carry out, I went through stages of wanting to be, a footballer, an actress, a redcoat at Butlins and a youtuber.

We are all  expected to know what we want to do with our lives at 15 when we start applying to colleges and A level courses. When I was 15 I knew I wanted to work with children and that’s what I applied for. But really I’m one of the lucky ones because I know people who used their two free years of education in college doing a course they hate because when they were 15 they did not know what they wanted to do.


I’m now 18 and working with children my ideal job, but who do I want to be.

I wan’t to expand my views on life as bigger than getting the dream job, or finding the dream wife, or having the dream home.Where do I want to go, what am I going to do that’s going to leave my mark on this world when one day I have to leave it.

I’m only 18, I do not expect to have everything figured out and even though yes I do want all of the dream things I want out of this world experiences, I want things that I could never imagine myself doing.

Does anyone have anything figured out though? I look at my parents and expect them to have everything in life that they ever wanted, but do they? I was speaking to someone about growing up, and she told me that she has a theory that no one ever really grows up and everyone is just getting through life pretending like they’ve got it all together.


I find comfort in that. I find comfort in the fact that I should not be expected at the age of 18 or the age of 40 to have everything sorted and everything planned, I want to be spontaneous, I wan’t a life that is more than just working to earn money I want to see the world, I want to know who I want to be.

But I have no fucking idea.

Codie xx



One thought on “Who do I want to be

  1. I wrote about this same thing recently and its important to keep things in perspective; who we are and who we want to be is a bit of a moving target and it should be because we are always changing and growing. Good luck in your journey!


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