I recently saw a Facebook status where a girl wrote, “Emotional abuse is the worst abuse”. I commented on this status and expressed my opinion, and she deleted my comment. So this blog is for me to really get out what I am thinking.
As many of you know I have had past experience with sexual abuse, and it was one of the hardest things to deal with and honestly I think it will be the hardest thing for the rest of my life.
Now, I seriously disagree with what this girl had said, that emotional abuse is the worst abuse (this is not the first time I have seen someone say something like this). How dare someone sit there and try to compare my abuse to someone else, how dare someone sit there and try to compare how I was feeling, what I went through to someone else.
I was disgusted when I read this. Maybe it’s lack of understanding because I studied childcare for 2 years and I’ve done a qualified course where we learned about abuse so maybe I just know a little bit more about it, but my god even when I was 12 I would never tell someone that I had it worse, to look on the bright side because hey, at least you didn’t get emotionally abused.
Little do you know the emotional abuse that comes with physical and sexual abuse, the feeling of being unwanted, the confusion, the emotions, the nights in your room crying your eyes out but trying to be silent, the nights of sitting in the bath and watching blood trickle down your arms. Little do you know the depression that comes with it, physical abuse is not just being hit and that’s it, abuse over, back to happy family. It’s being scared every time someone comes too close, it’s having your own space bubble because that makes you feel safe, it’s the flinching every time someone raises their hand near you, it’s the words they call you that trigger all the emotions, but you have to contain whatever you are feeling. It’s the feeling of being unwanted.
Emotional abuse is the hardest to identify, with physical and sexual there are normally some sings that are easily identifiable, scars, bruising, cuts, bleeding. But with emotional abuse some people are so good at hiding it, maybe because they feel ashamed of it, maybe because they don’t understand it, maybe because they don’t know how to get help.
But please, never compare abuse, please never tell me that you had it worse, please never tell me that I didn’t have it that bad.
We are all valid, we all need to support one another, not try to one up each other.