I used to love sports day, as I’ve mentioned before I loved sports and competing with others. However I did not fancy doing it in front of a school of 800 judgemental teenagers. So I would only ever do one race. The fun race. This race was different every year so like one year there was different stages to the race like running with a ball between your legs or balancing stuff on your head. By doing this one race it got me out of getting in trouble for not doing anything so year 7 and year 8 I did this. However year 9 came along and my school decided to get rid of this race and to make sports day super serious. Being a big girl I was not going to do a fucking sprint, the fastest I run is to the bloody fridge.
So in year 9 because I refused to do any sports I had to help out with the races and set out races like the hurdles. But our field was full of goose shit and honestly by the time I finished helping I was ankle deep in shit. (Would still do that than run though).
Year 10 was my last sports day and was honestly one of the best ones, I had so much fun with my friends which is how I wanted it to be because it was my last sports day. So me and all my friends were lazy shits so we all refused to do any sports. We got off pretty easy with jobs this year though. Because we were the oldest in the year they obviously thought we were the most responsible they gave us the job of writing down all the scores onto the laptop. All the teachers would wright down on paper which team game first second and third so that we could transfer that into scores on the laptop.
So the teams were Red, Blue and Yellow. Red was always on the top of the piece of paper so I assumed that this meant that Red came first, so I was reading this out and my friend was typing it and literally like an hour before sports day was about to end I said to my friend ‘wow red are wining a lot of these’ and she took the paper and looked at it and that’s when I realised I fucked up. She explained to me what I had done and then we were rushing like fuck to fix the whole days scores that I had fucked up, the teachers kept asking us the scores and we were just like ah its a surprise because honestly we had no clue.
So we did our best to fix the scores but honestly I think we still fucked up. We had to sit with all the teachers when they read out the scores so that we couldn’t tell any of the pupils and we were shitting ourselves. The headteacher was talking through the megaphone and I remember him saying ‘This is the closest score we’ve ever had in school history’. I LITERALLY RUINED SCHOOL HISTORY. So the scores ended up that Blue and Red drew for first place and Yellow was only one point behind. How the teachers didn’t clock on that it was all wrong I have no idea.
So basically that’s the story of how I ruined my schools sports day. Thank you for reading!