When did you start being gay?

I am so bored of being asked the same questions and people telling me things about my sexuality that literally make no sense. ‘When did you start being gay?’ Is one I have been asked a lot. When did you start being straight? Honestly I have been interested in girls as long as you have been straight, but its not the norm therefore it takes people time to discover who they are. But that does not mean one day we woke up and were like, ay time to start being gay today.

‘Being gay is a choice’ Why would I chose a life of constantly coming out to people, arguments about my sexuality, random harassment and abuse. i’m not saying that I have the hardest life going because I fancy girls, I’m just saying surely its a much easier option (if it was one) to be straight, to be ‘normal’.

‘Who is the man in the relationship?’ There is no man in the relationship! That’s the point! We are two girls dating each other I don’t understand how people can ask who the man is, there is not a man in this relationship!!!!!!

‘You don’t look gay?’ Not every gay woman has got short hair, stop stereotyping us. I’m not a really femme gay but I also not ‘butch’. We are people, yeah we like girls, but that does not make us all the same, I hate when people categorise us and shove us into the corner and expect us to look and act a certain way. My sexuality does not define me.

‘Can we have a threesome?’ Yes I like girls, yes I like boys. No I don’t want a threesome. Honestly I hate being asked this question and it’s probably the question I get asked most and any lesbian or Bisexual would probably agree with me. STOP ASKING US

A lot of people also just think it’s okay to openly ask lesbians/bisexuals about their sex life. I think sometimes people forget the boundaries of what’s okay to ask and what’s just a bit too personal.

I don’t want this to be a blog that makes it sound like i’m hating on anyone straight, the point in this blog is to possibly answer some questions, and to make people realise that some questions don’t make sense. We all need to remember to be kind to one another, to think about peoples feelings before we ask questions, some things are just too much.

Please be kind, we’re not all that different

Codie x



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