School

Secondary school, where you go in an 11 year old with these expectations that secondary school is going to be just like high school musical, or at least I did. I was excited but obviously nervous for school. I thought that everyone would be so friendly and the whole school experience would just be amazing. At times it was, but at other times I couldn’t wait to finish school.

When you go to secondary school you are aged 11-16, going through so many changes physically and emotionally. You can practically smell the hormones. We’re all changing every day and that’s why looking back at school it looks like such an awkward time. When I first started school I may as well have been a boy,I didn’t have any friends who were girls and enjoyed nothing girly, but obviously I’ve changed now. From 11 to 18 I’ve had such a physical appearance change and what I enjoy is so different too. I’m not the girliest but I know how to work a good highlighter;). The first picture is of me in year 7/8, the second was just a couple of days ago. (I love myself I know).

Because everyone is constantly changing, this does mean people are being bullied, be this for their personality, or their physical appearance. Like most people I was bullied. I remember sitting on the bus home and having oranges, eggs and tomatoes thrown at me, all on separate occasions. The people who would do it were a few years older than me and I was not as confident and as brave as I am now so I couldn’t stand up for myself, I just did the same thing every time, I stood up quietly got off the bus at my stop, walked into my house, and broke down. I didn’t understand why these people were bullying me, they didn’t even know my name.

It is so hard to try and give advice to someone who’s being bullied, because you’ve really got three options:

  1. Tell someone. Tell a teacher or a parent, they will be able to talk to the bullies about their actions. But who knows if it will work? That’s happened with me, i told my mum and she went to the school, they spoke to the bullies, and it only got worse.
  2. Stand up for yourself. You have to have so much confidence to be able to do this because trust me, they can stand twice as tall and knock you straight back down.
  3. Ignore it. It can either be the best thing you’ve done and they’ll stop, or you’ll bottle up your feelings and maybe become depressed and upset.

However, I have also been a bully. Even now 4 years on, I am disgusted in myself. I can’t believe that I made someone feel as small and as vulnerable as people made me feel. Just be nice to each other guys, we are all so different, so unique and what good are we doing knocking people’s confidence and self esteem down?

Secondary school is also the time where people are discovering who they are, what they enjoy and what gender they like to be with.I have wrote my own blog about coming out and coming to terms with my sexuality so if this is anything you’d like to read I will link it here. In school I did have an interest in one of my friends, and it’s so difficult because I didn’t know how to feel and if it was okay to feel like that. Trust me it is, there is nothing wrong with you, you fancy girls, that’s all it is. If I could go back to school the one thing I would change is the pressure I put on myself and trying to tell myself that I was not interested in girls, I think I would of been a completely different person.

BUT SCHOOL IS NOT ALL BAD, stop wishing your time away! You will have some of the most amazing memories at school, ones that you will cherish forever, you will make some of the most incredible friends who you take with you throughout the rest of your life. And yes you most likely will lose friends when you leave school, it’s called growing up, you will make new friends, but it is on your shoulders to keep that friendship going, how can you expect a friendship solely on their part?

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School was not just a negative place, I made some great friends, had some memorable times and the real meaning of school, I was learning, even though I have never used algebra in my life, just keep your head down figure out what X is, and walk out of that school with you’re held high with an amazing set of GCSE results in your hand. They are the first step to your future.

Codie x

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